No. 0017

by Vincent Lewis

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10:06

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Recorded at Ohio University in Athens, Ohio.
Mixed and dubbed in my bedroom in Hilliard, Ohio.

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released June 12, 2017

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Quatral Athens, Ohio

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Track Name: A Faceless Spirit
sometimes I think about when I was younger and / when I was smaller and / I had no purpose / I just was / and everybody liked me because I was the future / the hope for humanity / now I’m just dead inside and addicted to corn syrup / and it can’t be helped but I’d like to go back / to when money was paper and computers were magic / and I still had time to figure out what to do with my life / why is work hard when it doesn’t have to be? / why do people say things they don’t even mean? / what happened between childhood and now? / everyone’s turning against me

(spyro sample)
the fools in this world are invincible / but that does not mean they shouldn’t be attacked / sounds alright to me / you’re not afraid of those big nasty awful beasts are you spyro? / of course not!

hey duct tape / love yourself / for me / I’m finding I’m finally there / free to get out of it all / I’m free of you

(parks n rec sample)
it’s very good / but / his is also very good / you’ve gotta give it more attitude / it’s gotta scare people / bobby newport’s never had a real job in his life! / okay now we’re just waisting time jerry!

hey mmamamammaammaow / shamamamamamomamow / etc. / one last bite / too many nights fighting with fire / fighting with nothing to breathe / speaking in tongues no one can hear you / or you would like to believe / death and recession / it’s just your obsession / it’s got to go away / please don’t feel bad man / everything you’ve done will be forgiven one day / weed out these lies / I’m going to die / break out these guns / no one has won / no one is going anywhere! / going anywhere! / I’ve never had a problem / that I couldn’t solve by playing dead / the brain is an electrical organ / don’t lie to yourself / you’re just a machine / my man you’re just getting self-conscious / and it’ll eat away at your soul / weed out these lies / biding my time / break out the guns / killing these ones / no one is going anywhere! / one last bite / choke on this!

(interview with david foster wallace sample)
(interviewer) um / you write about pleasure in infinite jest / your latest novel / and I’m thinking yknow / one of the things related to that in infinite jest / one of the characters finds that / that marijuana is / marijuana is no longer a pleasurable experience / it just makes him terribly self-conscious / and therefor anxious / and I’m wondering what happens to you when you do something that’s supposed to give you pleasure / and it just makes you uncomfortable or anxious?
(david) boy / I’m not really even sure how to respond to that / look / a lot of the influence for writing infinite jest was just the fact that / that I was about thirty / and I had a lot of friends who were about thirty / and we’d all know been grotesquely over-educated and privileged our whole lives / and had better healthcare and had more money than our parents did / and we were all extraordinarily sad / I think it has something to do with being raised in an era / when really the ultimate value seems to be / I mean / a successful life is / let’s see / you make a lot of money and you have a really attractive spouse / or you get infamous or famous in some way / so that it’s a life where you basically experience as much pleasure as possible / which ends up being sort of empty and low-calorie / but the reason I don’t like talking about it discursively is that it sounds very banal and cliche / when you say it out loud that way / believe it or not this came as something of an epiphany to us / at around age thirty / so I’m talking about / why on earth we were so miserable / when we’d been so lucky?
(interviewer) well / when did you realize that all the benefits you had / in an educated middle-class life / weren’t bringing you happiness?
(david) look / I guess it sort of depends on what you mean by happiness
Track Name: Vespasian
time marches on / and I’m trying to get it to stop / how did I get here? / am I high? / so much free time / but it feels like there’s nothing to do / how did I get here? / am I high? / and I wanted to be / wanted to be on my own / but what can I do / what can I do on my own? / and it feels like / I’m dying a second time / and nothing I do can make it right / fighting with friends / because I want them to leave me alone / it’s not like I hate them / am I high?

(noodle interview sample)
I haven't gone through many hardships / everyone has things they must overcome / no? / powerful? / definitely / yes / every war will make you stronger / unless you are killed / that would not work / it was several months of training but I am healed / I was writing songs / doing hot yoga / learning quantum physics / and diving to the depths of the human mind to find the meaning of life / I also play a lot of games

don’t want them near me / don’t want them in my house / I know they’ll hear me / I know they’ll hear me shout / who cares? / who cares at all? / I hate them all / I know they’re friendly / but they make me feel so dumb / I know they’re joking / but I don’t know how to have fun / who cares? / who cares at all? / I hate them all

one / we’re staring at the sun / we’re getting nothing done / and all I wanna do / is do something with you / and maybe then we’ll go / where we can be alone / and I will have a home in the garden / hey / do you think we could get away if we tried? / would it bother you if I were to die? / do you think if they caught us / they would have us flayed? / I know I’d worry about that for days / you think you’re so special but you don’t even know how to read / and every time you drop something you know you’re going to scream / well maybe I’ll just get my shit and I’ll move somewhere else / where can you go? / you have no home

after your life’s gone down the tubes / nobody knows just what to do / stay at home all day and cry? / you must think I’m an awful guy / but after everything / we feel the way we did before / and after we get home / I hope you feel better! / you seem empty / I’ve been there / when it feels like no one cares / maybe not but I don’t mind / I’m not going to waste my time / but after everything / we feel the way we did before / and after we get home / I hope you feel better!
Track Name: Inhuman
sometimes I wish I was dead / sometimes I wish I was dead / because of these thoughts / running through my head / sometimes I wish I could die / sometimes I wish I could die / but I like you a lot / so I’m staying alive / sometimes I go home and I don’t know why / sometimes I’m alone and I want to die / seeing you makes me think there’s more to life / out there for me to explore so / give me one more night and I’ll be alright

what is the problem with me? / why can’t I get to sleep? / how can I live if I don’t know how to dream? / I’m trying so hard but nothing is happening / how can I live if I can’t get to sleep?

shorts and everything / white as milk and they drink as much as they can / I can’t believe it / these guys are golems / it’s like they don’t understand / I for sake of simplicity / to just get it out of the way / I don’t know why they act like they do / but they seem so inhuman / life is all a dream